Brakes

I can't recommend these things enough. They're definitely catching on, but maybe you don't have some yet. Go get them now - you'll thank me. Or just keep smashing into stuff... Either way.

Ari Hest

Ari Hest is a singer-songwriter from... well, I don't know where he's from. But I like his music. And that's what counts.

His voice is probably his calling card, with a gravely baritone that rivals Bruce Springsteen, and perhaps even does him one better on a cover of I'm On Fire. More than his voice though, he writes excellent music. He transitions from playing with and without a band seamlessly, and his songs always sound different from each other (no small feat for an emerging artist).

One of his first releases, an uptempo They're Onto Me, is still one of my favorites, but he has since released When And If, a moving ballad about a soldier away from home, and Ride the Brake, a trip across America in song. So Slow is also one of my favorites, although I could not tell you what the lyrics mean (though they certainly sound like they have some meaning)... I don't know how this guy has escaped a national spotlight thus far, and it is with a heavy heart that I shine my own on him now, as we both know the kind of influence I have across the country. But as much as I would like to keep his music all to myself, I believe sharing is a mitzvah. Enjoy...

http://www.arihest.com/home/home.html

Planet Money

Planet Money is both a blog, a radio segment, and a podcast on National Public Radio (and its associated website/media). They aim to take incredibly complex things like Collateralized Debt Obligations and health insurance legislation and try to explain and present them in a fair, balanced and easy-to-understand fashion.

I highly recommend giving them a listen/read. When you consider that every piece of information you receive has a heavy bias attached to it, these people do their best to minimize that leverage, and cut the strings on what they provide. It is content that is refreshing, informative, and perspective-changing.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/

Introspection

Sometime, I just like to stop and ponder my existence. I wonder about history and the world and where I fit in... The universe is really big.

Ripping the Eyes Out of Heads and Pissing in Dead Sculls

Truly a gem of a line, in a movie filled with sparkling lines (A Few Good Men). As a general rule, I would not recommend f*cking with the wrong Marine, as this is the sort of thing that goes hand in hand with that sort of thing. Just an FYI. Good day. 

Attractive People

I know what you're thinking... Attractive people are a pox on society. Attractive people need to be spayed/neutered in order to control the population. Attractive people are the reason we have high taxes and poor health care across the nation. And to some extent, I agree with you.

But attractive people can also be used to drive a bus or pick up your trash. They tend to be flexible, so they make good chimney sweeps and prostitutes. They are excellent at getting out stains (you just have to rub them on the garment fairly hard) or holding up artwork.

I think American society's main problem with attractive people is just that they're not used properly. We tend to rely on them for philosophical advice, international outreach, baby adoption services, and sometimes state governance. I think we just need to apply them better, and everyone would be better off. So next time some attractive person walks through a door you hold for them, and rather than say thank you, they act like it is your job, just trip them and use them to get the stains out of rug! See? Win-win for everybody!

Pumpkin Beer

Psst. I'll let you in on a little secret: Pocahontas was an alcoholic. She met John Smith out at a bar in Plymouth, and he took her home. This was no great feat, however, because as usual, she was banged up on Pumpkin Beer. Three weeks later, when her period came - that was the first Thanksgiving.

But who could blame her? (about the beer, not about John Smith - he looked like a hockey puck with legs) Pumpkin beer is delicious! If it were socially acceptable, I would drink it during sporting events like Gatorade. I would dip bread in it to make Better-Than-French Toast (or French-Canadian Toast, as it is more commonly known). I would make it into frozen cubes to put in all my other beverages... except for milk. That would be crossing the line.

But anyway, it's good. Surprising so, for those of us who generally avoid beers infused with fruit, vegetable, and/or meat. If I were you, I would drink it. And if I were you and you were underage, I would stick a straw into a pumpkin, suck hard, and pretend as if whatever came through the straw also made you happy and fun.

Walter Sobchak

Never has a converted Jew, Vietnam-vet bowler captured America's imagination like Walter Sobchak. Co-star of the 1998 Coen brothers film The Big Lebowski, Walter (John Goodman) taught us so much. He taught us:
1) Never f*ck a stranger in the @$$.
2) You can pretty much get a toe anywhere at any time.
3) You cannot roll on Shabbat.
4) You cannot stand for unchecked aggression.
5) "China man" is not the preferred nomenclature for a man from China (or any Asian man for that matter).
6) If you f*ck a stranger in the @$$, bad things happen.

Where have you gone, Walter Sobchak? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

*Brought to you by the Committee for Walter Sobchak for President. 

Spanx

How could you not be a fan of false advertising? How can you not get behind moist heat and those marks you get from elastic materials when it's too tight and you wear it too long? What's not to love about mashed vag and lycra?

I for one am a big fan of these things. Sure, men feel cheated and as if they're dating a senior citizen, with all of the associated undergarments, but so what! Now every woman can wear silk! Yippee!