Truthiness

[Portrait of Stephen Colbert by Todd Lockwood]

The photograph smells like... Freedom.



What's that? You say it's not a photograph? I'll be damned.

Now that you mention it, I guess his flaming sword is more whitish-blueish light in real life than the yellowy-red one here.

Hair Gel

This well-coiffed gentlemen above can only mean one thing: the NFL Combine is right around the corner.

An important note: we here at Stuff Me Likey have been trying to cultivate a unisex website, one that is friendly to both men and women. Even She-Males (It's true - I had a Lady GaGa post in the hopper). Anyway, this post is a bit of a departure. It's decidedly pro-male in nature. The NFL Combine and Draft are essentially the Golden Globes for hetero males.

[Perhaps more interesting, the Golden Globes are the NFL Combine and Draft for women and not-as-hetero males. Yeah, crazy right? I didn't know either... Just an FYI.]

Anyway, we here at Stuff Me Likey like the NFL draft a lot. So... just a warning... there may be some more departures. But I will try to remain fair and welcoming to both sexes, so I will attempt to include all of my pro-man posts with beefcake pictures like the one above. Just so we can all enjoy the site.

Your welcome.

Russian Aborigine Ice Dancers

I think the picture speaks for itself: raz-ma-tazz!

For those of you who missed the Olympics in primetime on Sunday night, or if you also missed the Ice Dancing World Championships (Where are your priorities?), these Russian Ice Dancers (Oksana Domina and Maxim Shabalin) performed a "traditional" aboriginal dance on skates, wearing these "traditional" outfits. I am not making this up. Apparently, a similar performance occurred at the World Championships (pictured above). I think the Olympic performance, in an effort to be more authentic and culturally sensitive, includes blackface and shrunken heads.

I can't tell you how excited I am to see more of these people. I think they should put them everywhere: Late Night TV, cameos on Grey's Anatomy, getting blowouts on Jersey Shore. Actually, I guess it will be Jersey Shore Part II - the Outback.

There is one question I can't shake, though, and I'm guessing it's bugging you as well: What the f*ck was I doing watching Ice Dancing?

Modern Family

If you are not watching this show yet, I have nothing but contempt for you.

Okay, that was a bit harsh. I have some contempt and some advice, and perhaps some lemonade. Perhaps.

Watch it now. Go. I would tell you when its on, but I promised my agent I wouldn't distract from my appearance on Gossip Girl, so you're on your own.

Even better, record it on your VCR-type-item and watch me square off in a slap fight with Blake Lively instead! Zoinks!

Jacob & The Man In Black

Warning: if you are one of those people that hates spoilers, I have only this to say to you: Soylent Green is PEOPLE!

With that out of the way, I have been obsessed with Lost since last night's Season 6 premier episode, and I need to share my obsession.

I loved the wrinkle of Jacob and his "friend" (the "Man in Black" as the interweb is calling him, and left in the picture above) in the Season 5 finale, and have been feverishly anticipating this season for months. I have been speculating for some time now that Jacob is a reference to the biblical "Jacob's Ladder," the ladder to heaven envisioned by Jacob (son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham) in Genesis. At the end of Season 5, and with the introduction of the "Man in Black," I felt encouraged in my thinking and supposed that this new character might represent Esau, brother of Jacob.

But this thinking has led me to weird places. I began to look at the numbers sequence (4-8-15-16-23-42) and their relevance to verses in Genesis. I began to read up on Josephus, a Pharisee whose name I recognize from his import with early-Christian history, and who is somehow connected to a 'lucky' number sequence. This sequence is called the "Flavius-Josephus sieve," and is defined by the algorithm: a(n) is the smallest number such that twice the number of divisors of (a(n)-n)/3 gives the n-th term in the first differences of the sequence. I began to read up on the Bible Code that propagates through both the Kabbalah (based only on my memories from the 1998 Darren Aronofsky film Pi) and modern-day number theory concerning the Bible.

This is not the first of such bouts of curiosity I have felt at the hands of Lost. I recall investigating the Valenzetti equation, the Hanso/Dharma word etymology, and even the smoke monster (I recalled an eerie similarity to the nano-creature from Michael Crichton's lousy 2002 novel, Prey).

Needless to say, I'm a bit flamboozled these days... But in a good way. 

A couple more prognostications (general, sweeping variety), though, for the record, and a few questions:

• People on the island (as a result of the plane crash only) seem to die when they are at peace or have made some sort of amends (i.e. ascend Jacob's ladder) - Boone, Charlie, Eko, Ana Lucia, Michael. 
• The Man in Black (or Esau, if you will) can only take the form of people who are dead (and possibly on the island) - Yemi (Eko's brother who came via drug plane), Christian (Jack's dad who came via the Oceanic flight), Locke (who came via the Ajira flight). This does not explain the other people who have appeared on the island: Walt, Dave (Hurley's maybe-imaginary friend). 
• What happened to Walt? Why is he special (remember the dead birds and such)? Where's his tie-in? Is he just being avoided because his hormones kicked in, and he's a liability to the timeline?
• What about the military people from the H-bomb era? How did they end up there? Where's Widmore's tie-in at the end of this? I don't believe they've ever explained how the military ended up there, and why they left (although I could be mistaken)...
• Is there a current of parents and children running through the island? Jack &Christian, Claire & Christian, Old Con-Man Sawyer & Locke, Hawking & Faraday, Penny & Widmore... Are there more parent-child connections coming? Do they date back to the Blackrock? Are all the characters descendants of other inhabitants?
• Richard Alpert is likely a slave from the Blackrock, but what is his deal? Did Ben get dipped in the spring inside the temple (to save his life when Sayid shot him)?

This is very rambling, I admit. I may revisit this to clean up/expound. I am thankful for the confusion, though. All this makes for interesting television. I am truly awed by the plot construction of Messrs. Abrams, Cuse, and Lindelof. Good TV is a nice change of pace, isn't it?

Lt. Vincent Hanna

I feel as though I may have overstated my point the other day... I actually do like Al Pacino as an actor in a fair number of movies, and I hope you didn't mistake my playful ribbing of his method as outright aggression. As such, I want to allow Al to respond here in print - albeit in character, apparently. I believe he chose Lt. Vincent Hanna from the gritty crime drama Heat... Nice choice, right? Without further ado, here is an excerpt from my interview with Al Pacino (FYI, the rest was unintelligible):

Me: Thanks for joining us, Al. I guess I've always wondered-
Al: Don't waste MY MUTHERFU@&ing time!!

Me: Oh. Um... What would you say-
Al: Gimme ALL YOU GOT!! GIMME ALL YOU GOT!

Me: Heat is one of my favorite movies - what was your inspiration for the Vin-
Al: Well I am... over-fu@&in' whelmed. What d'you want for that, a junior g-man badge?

Me: Uh, no. I'm good. But your character, Vincent Hanna - there was a lot of... angst built into him. Where did it come from?
Al: I gotta hold on to my angst. I preserve it because I need it. It keeps me sharp, on the edge, where I gotta be.

Me: Um, definitely. Me too. Totally.       What about behind the scenes? Did Michael Mann, the director, arrange for any real-life homicide detectives to consult with you on the picture?
Al: Us. The L-A-P-D. Po-lice Department... We just got made.

Me: Made what?
Al: [silence]

Me: [contemplating] What about Val Kilmer? How was it working with him? Tom Cruise has been quoted saying Val was-
Al: Cause she's got a great ass... and you got your head all the way up it!

Me: She? Val Kilmer is a man. You know that right?
Al: Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses, a woman's ass, something comes out of me.

Me: Ok. But Val Kilmer is definitely a man. I know his name is gender-neutral, and his hair is kind of long in the movie, but still... Definitely a man.     Did something happen between you?
Al: [Singing] By the time I get to Phoenix, we'll be rising. She'll probably leave a note right on the door.

Me: What does that mean? Is Val Kilmer gay? Why are you singing?
Al: Albert, what's wrong with you? You drag me here, waste my time like this.

Me: Who's Albert? Why are you calling me Albert?
Al: Who? Who? What are you, a fu@&ing owl?

Me: That seems a little out of line. Why don't you-
Al: Empathy was yesterday. Today, you're wasting my motherfu@&ing time.

Me: I was just-
Al: This is my operation, I have tactical command that supercedes your rank...

Me: What rank?! I was just saying-
Al: I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch my fu@&ing television set!

Me: [scared for life]
Al: You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.

Me: [meekly, still very scared] I'm sorry I implied you might be gay partners with Val Kilmer...
 
*****END*****

Blue People

Okay, that's better.

Down to bidness: Excellent movie. Visually amazing. I, for one, am generally not a fan of green screen usage for special effects, instead preferring the old Star Wars model ships and the like - to me, the lighting and depth is never right with the CGI (computer-generated imagery) stuff. Phantom Menace is a perfect example of this, as well as the issue of actors not perceiving their CGI counterparts at the right distance and angle. Even Transformers, which came out just a year and a half ago (July 2007), was fraught with all sorts of CGI issues, with voices not matching their onscreen sources and, quite frankly, too much damn shiny stuff. All told, I am generally skeptical verging on pessimistic with these types of movies.

[I will say that Sin City was a big milestone for me, in that it was the first time I have been lost in a CGI-driven movie and forgotten about the effects. I think striving to make everything, not just the CGI characters and landscape, look cartoonish/animated made all the difference. Although perhaps the technology is finally getting there...]

Blah Blah. Anyway, my point is that Avatar was amazing to watch. The lighting and shading and depth on the CGI characters was, to my eye, as good as it gets. Their interactions with their environment and their human counterparts was amazingly real. And the landscapes were believable. Beautiful and believable. Part of the secret to the success of the landscapes, I suspect, again lies in the effort to reach an unknown standard (i.e. a foreign planet) and not a known one (i.e. a talking yellow Mustang).

That said, apart from its visual appeal, there is actually an enjoyable movie underneath. The plot, albeit not a new concept, was not overtly trite either. All of the actors provided creditable performances apart from Sigourney Weaver, who was a little too cookie-cutter. I really enjoyed Sam Worthington in the lead role as well - not because he was amazing, but because he was a solid and understated and, most importantly, NOT Nick Cage... By that I mean, I am sick of the same faces and same crappy actors. Even great actors carry some of the baggage of their other roles with them: witness anything Al Pacino has done in the last ten years, try not yelling 'Whoo-Hah!' during his monologues, and you'll see what I mean. Every time you recognize an actor in a role, he/she loses a little bit of the believability that makes them great in a performance. This is what drives the great ones to immerse themselves physically in a role, not only to look the part, but to distance themselves from their previous roles (see Raging Bull, Monster, Courage Under Fire, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Last King of Scotland to name a few).

Tangent over. Bottom line: It was a solid, "workmanlike" film made better by an amazing visual display. And for someone like myself, who is as loathe to credit this CGI-explosion culture of Michael Bay and George Lucas as can be, this may be the greatest compliment I can give.

Floating Mountains

Okay, I didn't like these all that much, but it sounded more interesting than "Blue People..."

Actually, on second thought...

Future Leaders of America

If you haven't seen Jersey Shore yet, you are doing a disservice not only to yourself, but to your entire country, nay the future generations of the world. These people are the best and brightest of what can only be described as the Future Leaders of America. They are tan. They are well-coiffed. They are erudite without being pretentious. They sell t-shirts. They talk into a duck phone. They do walk-overs on crowded dance floors in dresses. They have Ravioli Night. They make fun of fat girls. They fist pump. They wear bedazzled shirts with eagles, angel wings or abstract designs. They hit the gym (GTL, baby!).

Okay, maybe they aren't erudite. But I like them. "They do, like, um... great things."

People Who Are Actually Funny

I enjoy funny stuff. And funny people. I'm not a big fan of people who are unfunny. People who are simple-minded and mean whilst being unfunny are REALLY not so great. Contrasted with funny people, these people are a downright pox on society. And funny people who generally seem humble and nice and interesting to be around? Fantastic! Unfunny people who are disingenuous and uninteresting and weak-minded and bullying/front-running with their jokes? SUCKO! BIGTIME CRAPTASTIC!!

As you can imagine, when faced with such a contrast, one feels decidedly more affection for the funny person. Unfortunately, the people of Earth are left with... craptastic. I can only hope the funny people of Earth land on their feet with a modeling gig or fancy hair salon to the stars.

[Brought to you by the Committee to Elect CoCo President]

Brains

BRAINS!!!

Dignity

Such a precious commodity. And the kind you don't miss until it's gone. Everything's going fine and then- WHAM! Christmas sweater!

And the damage is done... What can you do afterward... except maybe piss on the carpet? Yeah, that'll do. [This works in just about any dignity robbing situation, by the way - trust me on this.]

Hard News Coverage

You know what reaffirms my faith in humanity: the fact that all of the networks, news outlets, magazines, radio stations and blogs have steered clear of the tawdry, sensational story of Tiger Woods and his mistresses. You may not have heard, because it kind of flew under the radar, but he's apparently been caught cheating on his wife.
I, for one, am glad this story didn't get the kind of attention you might think, not because I empathize with Tiger (because I don't), and not because I don't find these types of stories juicy (because I do), but because I am sure that the problems that face America, nay the world, are far bigger and merit far more attention than some golfer 'sinking some putts' on... not his wife (the metaphor kind of fell apart on me).
It's almost like the media (or whoever owns them) would want to distract us from 30,000 troops going to Afghanistan or the debates in Congress over healthcare... I'm surprised they resisted the temptation, but I guess you can't give them too much credit - it's not like we (America and the world) as an audience would fall for those tricks anyway...
Anyway, I would love to preach more, and woo you with further sarcasm, but I have to go - CNN just reported Tiger had relations with a baby walrus while he was at the zoo. Details?!?

Outliers

This is the first book I have read of Malcolm Gladwell's, but I found it very interesting and an enjoyable read. Apart from the part where he writes about plane crashes. Because I happened to be on a plane at the time. When I got to that part. So it was a little unnerving. But otherwise very good. A tip: enjoy it on the ground.

The Rhythm of the Night

The best thing about DeBarge is that they are still relevant today. You can hear echoes of their sound in U2 and Michael Buble, and their look is definitely holding on thanks to Tyra Banks and Borat (including the pencil-thin mustaches). This song completes me.

Andrew W.K.

This guy is bat-$hit crazy, but it's definitely working for him. I am one of the few connoisseurs out there who truly appreciate the musical theory and composition of his songs "Party Hard" or "She Is Beautiful," and yet enjoy the brainless lyrics and their "constipated old man" delivery.

If you are not familiar with his work, check out "Party Hard" or "She Is Beautiful," not because they're his best work, but because those are the only ones I know. Watch the videos. Then watch this:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120758328&ps=bb1

If you can make it past the first 12.5 minutes of unaccompanied piano improv (which is pretty good and yet mind-numbing enough that I skipped through parts of it), you will be rewarded with a spectacularly Johnny-Cash-esque version of "I Get Wet" (it's like you think), and then a pretty guttural, riveting cover of "The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress." All told, this guy is a study in contrasts, and my favorite musician with two initials for a last name.

Brakes

I can't recommend these things enough. They're definitely catching on, but maybe you don't have some yet. Go get them now - you'll thank me. Or just keep smashing into stuff... Either way.

Ari Hest

Ari Hest is a singer-songwriter from... well, I don't know where he's from. But I like his music. And that's what counts.

His voice is probably his calling card, with a gravely baritone that rivals Bruce Springsteen, and perhaps even does him one better on a cover of I'm On Fire. More than his voice though, he writes excellent music. He transitions from playing with and without a band seamlessly, and his songs always sound different from each other (no small feat for an emerging artist).

One of his first releases, an uptempo They're Onto Me, is still one of my favorites, but he has since released When And If, a moving ballad about a soldier away from home, and Ride the Brake, a trip across America in song. So Slow is also one of my favorites, although I could not tell you what the lyrics mean (though they certainly sound like they have some meaning)... I don't know how this guy has escaped a national spotlight thus far, and it is with a heavy heart that I shine my own on him now, as we both know the kind of influence I have across the country. But as much as I would like to keep his music all to myself, I believe sharing is a mitzvah. Enjoy...

http://www.arihest.com/home/home.html

Planet Money

Planet Money is both a blog, a radio segment, and a podcast on National Public Radio (and its associated website/media). They aim to take incredibly complex things like Collateralized Debt Obligations and health insurance legislation and try to explain and present them in a fair, balanced and easy-to-understand fashion.

I highly recommend giving them a listen/read. When you consider that every piece of information you receive has a heavy bias attached to it, these people do their best to minimize that leverage, and cut the strings on what they provide. It is content that is refreshing, informative, and perspective-changing.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/

Introspection

Sometime, I just like to stop and ponder my existence. I wonder about history and the world and where I fit in... The universe is really big.